Entry Number 11::

Well, this is going to be an interesting entry. I've only got nineteen days to go before I leave for the Navy. Alot has happened in this...incredibly short time.

Entry Number 10:: UPDATE

This basically explains everything. 46 days to go!

Entry Number Nine:: BREAK UPS

And here we are! So as the title states, this entry is about break ups. Kevin broke up with me on December 27th, 2011. He came down to Arlington to "win me back", only to break up with me about five hours later. I'm really hoping that by the time I read this, years down the line...that its only a distant memory. But for now, its painful. I loved him so much, and to see it fall apart like that was hard. But you know what guys? Its been a long time coming. Kevin wasn't much of a boyfriend, and I really know that now. Its time for me to focus on me, to figure out what I'm capable of outside of a relationship. There isn't anything wrong with feeling the sting of a serious break up, but to let it ruin your life would be wasteful. I have such a short time on earth, why waste it being unhappy? You know, as I'm writing this I'm feeling better and better. There is so much out there for me to see! And at the end of the day, my friends and family are right; the perfect guy who will love me endlessly is out there. We just havent met yet. =] But no lie, for now dating is the last thing on my mind. Which brings me to my next subject:: GOODBYES.

When I say 'goodbye', I'm referring to how my decision to join the Navy has affected my relationships. Its three months away now, and its really kind of like this period of both parties knowing that I'm leaving but trying to go around like normal. Kimy is the best example I can think of right now. Shes the light of my life man, if you're reading this...I just want you to know that I'm so in love with you its ridiculous. (In a best friend non lesbian kind of way.=] ) Kimy is my rock, shes the one I can always turn to without any judgement or betrayal. She always has my back no matter what, and I'm proud just to say we're best friends. But we definitely try to avoid the talk that is inevitably coming...the talk about how I'm just fucking leaving for six years. More and more often, she lets me know how painful it is for her, and like a coward I just try to ignore it. I just try to put it off. But I know whats going on...I know that people love me and don't want me to go. I guess what I'm going through right now is figuring out how to deal with that.

But I guess thats enough for now. Cheers.